


Outside Looking In

by Artan



Series: Fluency AU [7]
Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Relationship(s), Racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-15
Updated: 2016-10-15
Packaged: 2018-08-22 12:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8285903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artan/pseuds/Artan
Summary: Some times relationships are simple, what you think you see is what is truly there.  Others are something more complex and assumptions will only lead to pain.  Remember you are on the outside, looking in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Bold is Vulpine  
> Italics are Lapine

Nick was 211 miles away from his usual haunts, or at least a good three and a half hours away from rescue.  Right now however, he just wanted peace and quiet.  He and Judy were taking a long weekend to attend one of the spring festivals in Bunnyburrow.  They had taken the late train after work on a Friday and somehow an arrival time of 9:30pm became something much closer to 11:00.  After only a moment of sleep, he was not ready to face the day.  The rabbits outside the door seemed to have another idea.  Somehow he doubted he could find a herd of elephants louder than them.  Angry, angry elephants and they were still quieter than rabbits.  Half asleep, he growled in the vague direction of the door before a rabbit of his own began to stroke his head, coaxing him back to passivity.  Five and a half hours was nowhere near enough sleep for a fox of his age, in Nick’s opinion.

The room was still pitch black, barring the light slipping under the door, when Nick awoke again.  This time of his own accord.  The too small bed seemed strangely cold for a moment, before he realized Judy had already gotten up.  Even on her days off she was never one to slow down.  As much as he wanted to lie in bed all morning there was something calling his name, coffee.  Through all of the different, overlapping scents in the Hopps’ burrow coffee grounds were easy to find.  They somehow always stood out.  He slowly pulled himself out of the sheets and dressed for the morning.  A loose shirt and sweatpants would do fine until he showered.  Even though he had visited the burrow several times before he didn’t trust himself to find everything.  Instead, he followed the scent of his morning elixir, wherever it was.

The secondary kitchen was on the top floor of the burrow, sometimes known as the surface level.  It was small and comforting with natural light streaming through the windows, a luxury when most of the living space was below ground.  Only a pawful of rabbits were still in the house, including the most important one as far as he was concerned.  In fact, it seemed that she had been expecting him.  Judy smiled broadly to one of her siblings as he entered the room.  “ _See, what did I tell you?  If I ever lose him, I just need to brew a cup of coffee and wait a few minutes.  He will come to me!_ ”  The sister at whom the comment was directed just shook her head at Judy’s remark.  Lapine was the most common language within the Hopps household especially among the older members, while the younger generations flowed between Common and Lapine almost without thinking.  Nick was far more focused on coffee than language, however.  While it wasn’t any of the local coffee house brews, one of the few good things from all those hipsters, it was hot and fresh.

Nick gave a contented sigh as the warmth from the mug in his paw spread through his arms.  While the heat from the first few sips warmed him from the inside, the cup itself is what he had learned to cherish over the winter.  He took a moment to savor the feeling before speaking to the important rabbit in the room.  “Morning Judy…”  It was less speaking and more distinct mumbling, he wasn’t awake enough for coherent words yet.  She just smiled and shook her head.  “Morning Slick.”  She said, moving close to stroke his lowered cheeks.  Nick’s nocturnal instincts made mornings difficult, but something about that bunny made it all worth it.  She sniffed slightly, before whispering to him.  “ **You may want to shower.  While appreciate the way you smell, others, not so much.** ”  Nick just nodded while he let the coffee work its magic.

It wasn’t long before he found himself on the front porch of the burrow, sunglasses tucked into the collar of his t-shirt.  Somehow, all of his more comfortable, floral patterned button-ups seemed to vanish before it was time to pack for the weekend.  This wasn’t the first time they had vanished either.  At least this shirt covered his steadily thinning winter coat.  He had done everything he could to brush away the larger clumps of fur, but there still seemed to be more hair to fill the brush.  Perhaps he should have tried selling Mr. Big a fox fur rug instead of skunk all those years ago.  It would have been just as cheap to make and probably much safer to have sold.  Nick was pensive as he warmed himself in the spring sunshine.  Weather this far out of the city was much more stable ad mild, without the interference of the climate wall.

Judy was returning with one of the family trucks after dropping some of her siblings off in the outer fields.  From the porch, Nick could see the plume of dust raised by the powder blue pickup.  He had hoped to sleep in for at least one morning, but today wasn’t going to be it.  After the morning’s tasks, they were going to the fair in town.  Sometimes, Nick wondered if rabbits were just looking for excuses to get together.  It seemed like there was always some social gathering out in the burrows.  Be it some new festival or an important anniversary, bunnies were always with their family.  In a way, it made him happy to even be invited to these events.  He was accepted by most of the mammals around him, despite his species.  Of course, his cynicism added, they could just be not saying it to your face.  Gravel crunched underneath the tires of the pickup as it came to a stop.  Judy beckoned him from inside the cabin, yelling.  “ _Come on, we have some deliveries to make Slick!_ ”  Nick gave the mental equivalent of a shrug and climbed into the truck.  There was work to be done.

In his heart, Nick was a city-fox and he knew it.  Everyone else seemed to know it too.  Despite the rapid fire lapine he did his best to help.  He and Judy worked as a team, acting as a courier and delivery service.  Supplies needed to finish the planting before the end of March, only a week away, were loaded into the bed of the truck by the team.  They were on the way back from delivering several sacks of barley seed to the outer fields when the call came for a lunch break.  The pair bounced down a dirt road as Nick posed a question that had been on his mind.  “So Carrots, do your parents actually enjoy having us out here, or do they just want the free labor?”  He smirked, while Judy took a moment to think about her reply.  “Well, they love to see me…”  She trailed off as she began to grin.  “But they just want you out here for the extra pair of paws.”  Nick dramatically clasped his paws over his heart in response to her comment, collapsing into his mate.  With his head in her lap, he expected her to turn into the house.  They kept going, and by the time he lifted himself back upright the farmhouse was far behind them.

“Ummmm… Judy?  Did we miss a tur back there?”  Nick looked over at her as she smiled.  It was the same sort of smile as when they caught Bellwether; she was certainly up to something.  She didn’t answer and just kept driving as her smirk kept growing.  Finally, she spoke as the house disappeared from view.  “ _Did I miss a turn?  Oh dear, whatever will we do?  I guess now we just have to go visit the festival._ ”  Nick chuckled and shook his head.  “ _You are one sly bunny.  But most importantly, my sly bunny._ ”  With all of the sensitive ears around the farm there were a few ways they could have some small amount of privacy.  By leaving for the fair ahead of everyone else, they hoped to have a chance to explore in peace.  Or at least peace as a fox could have in a town of rabbits.

Amidst the crowds of the festival, Nick admitted to himself that he may have been a little wrong.  The town wasn’t entirely rabbits, just mostly.  He was certain he could count the number of different predators here on one paw and the odd sheep, pig, or goat was easy to distinguish amidst the crowd.  He almost couldn’t see through the forest of long ears, but Judy was but his side to guide him.  Most times a crowd like this would be something comforting, a holdout from his ‘less than legal’ days.  A mammal of his height could vanish amidst the press of bodies and shifting scents.  Not here, he stood out above the sea of grey, brown, black, and white fur.  Despite the number of keen ears, he voiced his opinions readily to Judy.  “ **Judy, is it normally this busy?  Cause I may be getting claustrophobic from this.** ”  They could speak in almost total privacy in the midst of the crowd with Vulpine.  “ **This looks a little worse than usual, but not much.  Why, are you doing ok?** ”  The fox shrugged.  “ **Just curious.** ”  Music poured from a pair of raised speakers at the far end of Bunnyburrow’s main street.  Small booths and stands and stands covered the sidewalk.  Even though he had no intention of buying anything he took time to investigate them all.

There were a few booths selling produce that had been grown in greenhouses over the winter.  Stu had said this past one had been harder than usual, but Nick really had nothing to base that off of.  It also didn’t help that he had spent several weeks on Hibernation Patrol in Tundratown.  After having to survive midnight blizzards, some of the normal metrics were thrown out the window.  Most stands had more traditional crafts.  Several had woven baskets while others held carvings or paintings.  A number of pressed flowers mounted on white paper caught Judy’s attention.  The colorfully preserved blossoms stood out against the plain background.  Nick let her get a few vendors ahead of him before circling back to see how much the piece would cost.  He thought better of it after the glare he got from the lop-eared proprietor.  Some instincts die harder than others, it seems.  He tried to put it out of his mind as he continued to browse the other booths, but now he looked around more often.

He received the usual distrustful looks, but those only seemed to become more common as he spoke with his mate.  Vulpine seemed to draw murmurs as he spoke.  He could hear some comments about the two of them come from the surrounding crowd.  “ _Look at him,_ ” they said.  “ _What does he have to hide that he feels the need to use his language?_ ”  Others said, “ _Do you think that doe is safe?  He is a fox, after all._ ”  Nick did what he could to suppress the offense and disappointment that welled up in his chest.  He wouldn’t let them see that they could get to him.  He acted like nothing had changed, but he knew that if he could hear what they said, Judy certainly could.

He tried to hide his agitation.  The booths they passed didn’t do much to help; Nick was certain one was selling traditional Lapine fertility charms.  Well, they matched the description Judy had managed to stammer out after many blushes and much coaxing.  The small bundles of shed fur and dried herbs served as a reminder of what he could never have with his mate.  He held her close as she pulled him along.  Ahead of them was one of the few predators.  He had set his booth up in front of a bakery, judging by the scents surrounding the building.  The fox underneath the pink and white striped awning seemed to have been sampling his products more often than necessary, if his waistline was anything to go by.  As Nick and Judy walked up to his booth, his eyes seemed to light up upon seeing them.

“Gideon, it’s a pleasure to see you again.”  Judy spoke first, Nick knew of the history between them.  It didn’t make him happy that the other fox had left her cheek scarred, but if they were able to put the past behind them so could he.  Nick nodded his head slightly, before greeting him as an equal.  “ **We finally meet in person, Gideon.  Thank you for finding someone to deliver all the way to Zootopia, the desserts you made were excellent.** ”  Gideon grinned; this was their first time meeting face to face.  “ **Thank you kindly, Mr. Wilde.  It was a nice change of pace to use of my mother’s old recipes.  I don’t get to work with them very often, so it is always something special.  Although, I have heard some rumblings about a certain honey-nut treat coming from the Hopps warren.  You wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?** ”  The two foxes smiled knowingly at each other as Nick shook his head.  “ **That is all her.** ”  He said, gesturing to Judy.  “ **She seems to have developed a taste for them, along with my own mother.  I have a feeling that we will be taking some back home with us.  Do you think you can have a few batches ready by Monday?** ”

Gideon took a moment to retrieve a notebook from the pocket for his apron before writing in Nick’s order.  “ **I can have as many as you need.  Besides, this may be a good time to try these in my counter.  Your mate’s family really has been asking about them.** ”  Nick’s eyebrows raised for a moment at Gideon’s comment as the other fox took a moment to explain himself.  “ **I’m glad for both of you about that.  You seem like a supportive tod for her.  Not everyone was supportive of her dream to become a cop, including me.  I said and did some things that I am still not proud of.  But, to see her happily with you and having accepted your mark make me hopeful.  Despite the troubles our past holds, the future is still bright.** ”  Nick put his paw on his counterpart’s shoulder, responding, “ **You and me both.  Now, I really should catch up to the rabbit in question.** ”

Judy had continued ahead while Nick had been busy talking.  They had started back to the truck and were looking to pick-up some food before they left.  Nick smelled some before Judy saw it.  Fried pickles and breaded zucchini were staple rabbit fair food, and the deep fryer was busily serving the line of mammals in front of it.  They got large cardboard boxes of both, at least large for rabbits.  The two made their way to the truck, joking and laughing the whole way.  One especially rude joke earned Nick a punch in the side just before they rounded the sides of one of the booths.  “ **Now that wasn’t very nice…** ”  Nick grumbled as he looked over at Judy, who just laughed at him.  Despite the early morning, the tod was having a decent day; which made it a total surprise when a pair of feet collided with the side of his head.

As he hit the ground all he was thinking about was his mate.  Was Judy ok?  He could hear some indistinct lapine shouting that sounded like Judy, before a mottled mass of brown, white, and black fur joined him in the dirt.  Nick picked himself up slowly and shook his head in an attempt to ward off the initial trauma, it didn’t work.  Slowly, the shouting beside him began to make sense.  “ _Don’t you ever make that mistake again, or I will ensure you never get to meet your descendants!_ ”  It was Judy, angrier than he had ever seen her.  Struggling beneath her feet was a common cottontail, wide eyed in shock and terror as she continued to berate him.  Whit the way he was pinned, Judy would have cuffed him if she could have.  Her shouts finally stopped when Nick placed a paw on her shoulder.  She actually growled at the pinned rabbit.  “ _Move for me, I dare you._ ”  She turned to Nick and possessively chinned him.  “ _You see that?_ ”  She was back to shouting again.  “ _VULPINE.  IS.  NOT.  A.  THREAT._ ”  Nick put his other paw on her shoulders and gently moved her off his assailant.  “Let’s just go.”  He said quietly.  Judy made a move to get loose from his grasp, but allowed herself to be led away.  They collected the fried pickles from where Judy had dropped them; the zucchini were a total loss however.  The truck ride back to the burrow was quiet.  Judy still fumed about the attack while Nick stewed in his own misery and pain.  He blamed himself for what happened; nothing would have gone wrong if it wasn’t for him.

They arrived at the farmhouse, and the entire burrow could feel something was wrong.  Nick could see Judy’s short, cotton ball tail twitch in agitation as she stormed into the depths of the burrow.  He made to follow her, but Bonnie stopped him.  In that strange way that mothers do, she knew something had happened to him.  She had never had a son with teeth and claws like his, but she really did care for him.  A swift inspection led to one of Judy’s seemingly endless siblings being summoned.  Apparently, a certain Rosemary Hopps was in Veterinary School, making her a perfect candidate to help with triage.  He quickly found an ice pack pressed to the side of his head where a sizable bruise had been forming, along with some Tylenol for the headache that had been plaguing him once the adrenaline wore off.  The burrow was much quieter with so many of its occupants outside.  Nick wanted to search for Judy, but the rabbits around him kept him seated.  Rosemary shook her head as he tried to get up again.  “You need to stay still,” She said, “You have a concussion.  Whatever hit your head did a good job of it.”  Nick sighed, he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to talk about what happened, but the headache and fog in his thoughts left no other choice.  The story was disjointed and told in common, he couldn’t seem to find the ability to form words in any language.

It took several hours before he was deemed able to look for Judy.  By then however, her scent was terribly muddled.  News spreads fast, especially bad news; with rabbits that process was even faster.  As   each individual came to check on him, then dispersed through the burrow, their scents overlapped each other, obscuring Judy’s trail.  Despite this, he still searched the burrow for her, but only managed to get lost in the lower levels.  Her scent at times seemed to come from just around the corner, but nothing was ever there.  Eventually, one of the kits had to retrieve him for dinner.  They never seemed afraid of him, regardless of what others said about foxes.  The initial trepidation the showed during his first visit had long since vanished.  He gave a small, wan smile as they led him by the paw to the main dining room, but it never touched his heart.

During the meal, Nick saw a flash of black tipped ears.  He left the table with his meal half eaten to follow them.  A part of him cringed at his terrible manners but he needed to find his rabbit, his mate.  Her scent was stronger this time, laced with what he had come to know as sorrow.  He was led up and out of the burrow.  In the lengthening shadows of dusk he saw her sit down in a copse of trees before putting her head in her paws.  He reached her and his paws were all over her.  That contact seemed to open a floodgate of emotion in each of them.  Tears spilled from Judy’s face while Nick’s muzzle contorted with barely suppressed sorrow.  They both found themselves attempting to apologize over each other, before stopping to take turns.

Judy took the initiative first, as she did in most things.  She never was the type to wait for anything, what happened today must have shaken something within her.  “ **I’m sorry Nick, I’m so, so sorry.** ”  She began, her head hung low.  Nick rubbed her ears and whispered, “I know, so am I.”  Judy stopped him.  “Nick, speak to me.”  She asked.  “I am.”  He replied.  “No, **speak** to me.”  She pleaded.  Nick paused, he wanted to respond in kind but something stopped him for a moment.  The looks the two of them had been given all afternoon sprang to mind, unbidden.  Judy tore through all that, along with the mask he had worn all day with a single word.  “ **Please.** ”  Nick found himself curled around her, crying too.  Between the sobs he only let her hear he managed to say “ **I know, I know and so am I.** ” they held each other close as Judy began again.  “ **This is all my fault, I pushed too far and I hurt you.  Again.  I thought we could be here, together with out the pressures we face in the city.** ”  She sighed deeply.  “ **It looks like my little speech from our first case reached all the way out here…** ”  “ **What do you mean?** ”  Nick asked tentatively.  “ **That rabbit attacked you because of me.  He thought you were taking me and decided to try and be a hero.  He had an assumption based on what I had said more than a year ago.  I may not have broken the city like I feared, but I certainly reopened too many old wounds.** ”  The guilt she felt was written plainly on her face in the failing light.  Nick marked the side of her throat before pressing their muzzles together.  Judy’s breath caught for a moment and when she found it again, he answered.

“ **We have had this conversation before.  What the Chief told you in Bellwether’s office is true, the city always was broken.  Don’t give yourself too much credit.  I’m sorry too.** ”  Nick wasn’t meaning to go down this like of discussion, but for some reason he couldn’t stop himself.  “ **I was reading some things about rabbits online and did some research.  We…** ”  Nick choked up for a second before he could find the words.  “ **We won’t ever be able to have kits.  It just won’t work.** ”  Nick’s tears flowed again as Judy held him close.  She pressed his ear against her rapidly beating heart as she gently brushed the fur on the back of his head in consolation.  “ **I have known.** ”  She said.  “ **It isn’t like we haven’t tried.  I know kits are important for us rabbits, especially for my own parents.  But I’m ok with it.  We can find our own way, we always have.** ”  As she soothed his grief and fears, Nick knew he didn’t deserve this rabbit.  The things he had done in the past should have come back to haunt him, but instead he met his **Soulmate**.

They returned to the house hours later, their tears spent.  There are more stars overhead than Nick can ever remember seeing in the city.  Constellations that he had only ever heard about in stories but could never see, let alone identify, covered the night sky above them.  Judy promised to one day teach him the ones she learned growing up.  Nick had lain against the trees, entranced by the points of light covering the sky.  It was something he did nearly every time they were out here.  In the city, there was just too much light for the stars, especially for nocturnal mammals.  Bonnie was waiting for them inside, having already begun heating some leftovers for the two of them.  Although Stu may have been the family patrician, in Nick’s mind Bonnie was the one who truly controlled the household and he respected her accordingly.  Before she left the two he nearly thanked her in Vulpine, but stopped himself before speaking.  Common would do just fine, for tonight.  Tomorrow would be a new day however, perhaps one he could make slightly better.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I am not entirely sure of where this one came from. I can't really pin it on any one thing, but more of an amalgamation of ideas and concepts.  
> Please leave comments or criticism, god knows I need plenty of the latter...


End file.
